Light

What do you think of when you think about light? - light as opposite of dark or light as in the electric light or as in the natural light of the sun or moon or maybe light as opposite of heavy or a perhaps a light day or job as in less responsibility

What about light as the place of God or the radiance of the Holy Spirit?  Evagrius Ponticus drawing upon Moses' experience in Exodus of experiencing the place of God on a mountaintop and seeing a light the color of the sky describes the mind as the place of God and the blue sapphire light as the light of the Holy Trinity.  While we may not see the light of God in the physical world, we can experience the visible light of the spiritual world.  In the Skemmata, Evagrius writes, "prayer is the state of the mind that comes to be from the single-light of the Holy Trinity." Even when the world around us seems dark, we can experience God in our souls through prayer.  This Advent allow your mind to become the place of God, a place where light shines and illumination occurs.  Let go that the radiance might begin. How is the blue sapphire taking root in your life?

Night

Night can be many things.  It is night time here in Tennessee right now.  It is dark and cold.  Night can be an interior time, a time of fear and unknown.  It can also be a time of creation.  There is no dawn without the night.  Dr. Alexander Shaia writes, "Darkness is where the new radiance begins."  Night is a place of birthing, a place of creation.  Jesus the Christ calls us to give him our burdens and he will give us rest.  Advent is a time of renewal and a time of creation.  It is the darkness of winter before the radiance of spring.  What are the dark places you are holding onto too tightly?  We have to choose to do the work of the dark, allowing the new radiance to begin.
I know for myself that certain things in my life did not change until I allowed them to be rather than tried to fix them.  New radiance does not come by pushing away the dark or ignoring the dark but by embracing all of its pieces and letting Jesus the Christ begin to radiate healing into those dark places bringing new growth.
What is the one thing that you can allow yourself to let go of and say I am not afraid I can let this darkness be a new beginning?

Visit http://www.quadratos.com to learn more about Advent and Dr. Alexander Shaia's work.

Focus

It is the third day of Advent and the question is are we becoming more intentional or already losing focus?  After all our world teaches us to always be looking for the newest thing to satisfy our desires.   Do we feel we must multi-task because it is expected or do we have the courage to slow down and listen? 
Focus is something that has always been extra hard for me even before the Internet and smart phones became the order of the day.  I tend to swing between the two extremes of being hyper-focused to the point of not being aware of anything else or so unfocused that I am not paying close attention to anything to the point at times of putting myself in harm's way.  Focus does not mean don't watch but rather choose what you are going to pay attention to.  Be intentional with your focus. 
How will you offer God your focus today?  How will you be intentional about Advent rather than jumping ahead to Christmas?  Scriptures tells not to be afraid or be in hurry or to worry but rather to seek and trust. 

Watch

On this second day of the Advent, the word is Watch.  Advent calls us to both an interior and an exterior watchfulness.  Internally, are we listening to God's still small voice

or is our soul being blown the wind grasping onto to whatever feels good.  Externally, are we watching for opportunities to serve?  Are we watching for those moments to love without exhausting ourselves?  

From the 21st Chapter of Luke: 34 “Be on guard so that your hearts are not weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and the worries of this life, and that day does not catch you unexpectedly, 35 like a trap. For it will come upon all who live on the face of the whole earth. 36 Be alert at all times, praying that you may have the strength to escape all these things that will take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.”

We are called to be alert and to pray, what is God putting on our hearts today? 

Journey

Today the Advent journey begins. It is the first day of the Christian year, a new dawn. It is a time of growing, waiting and anticipating. However, unlike other journeys, the Advent journey is an unknown one, we can set intentions and participate in Godly activities but we can only nurture what God is creating. Perhaps my friend , Alexander, says it best with these words, “Womb Time in God, ” and thus I wonder where is this journey going, can I wait?, can I trust? and can I participate? without knowing. Visit http://www.quadratos.com, to learn more about Alexander John Shaia’s work and the Four-Gospel Journey.

COMMINGLE - Word for 2017 - John of the Cross

 In late November, early December as I finished up my John of the Cross class; the word commingle  stayed with me.  The word and how it was used intrigued me. 

John of the Cross writes in Book I, Chapter 5 of Ascent to Mount Carmel, "This is likewise apparent in the same book of Sacred Scripture[Ex. 16:8-13] where it states the people, discontented with that simple food, requested and craved meat, and seriously angered our Lord because of their desire to commingle a food so base and and coarse with one so high and simple that, even though simple, contained the savor and substance of all foods[Wis. 16:20-21]."

 Further in Book II, Chapter 15 of Ascent to Mount Carmel, he writes, "One should not commingle other, more palpable lights of forms, concepts or figures of meditative discourse if one wants to receive this divine light in greater simplicity and abundance, for none of these tangible lights are like that serene, limpid light." 

What is John of the Cross trying to get us to think about?  He is saying be intentional and focus on what God is calling you to do. Do not mix your own desires with the gifts that God has given you. God desires us to be intentional therefore we should not commingle contemplation with meditation.  It is important for us to not be driven by feelings but to just show up.  So if we sit down with the intent to practice lectio divina we should not switch to contemplative prayer when we feel like it but rather practice contemplative prayer at a different time.

For me, commingle is a call to be intentional and stay focused. It is a call to be content with what I have been given.  It is a call to try not to do too much.  Everyday God asks us to consider what are we mixing in that dilutes our relationship with Him and where are we missing out because we are failing to commingle. 

"There are many kinds of awakening that God effects in the soul, so many that we would never finish explaining them all.  Yet this awakening of the son of God that the soul wishes to refer to here is one of the most elevated and beneficial. For this awakening is a movement of the Word in the substance of the soul, containing such grandeur, dominion, glory, and intimate sweetness that it seems to the soul that all the balsams and fragrant spices and flowers of the world are commingled, stirred, and shaken so as to yield their sweet odor, and all the kingdoms and dominions of the world and all the powers and virtues of heaven are moved; not only this, but it also seems that all the virtues and substances and perfections and graces of every created thing glow and make the same movement all at once. " - John of the Cross, The Living Flame of Love, Stanza 4 

 

Living into my suffering; Allowing and Accepting Change

I have pondered these phrases many times over the past two and an half years as at times change has come too quickly and at other times too slowly.  Living into my suffering, a phrase first used by a dear friend of mine after my daughter abruptly moved out has helped me not  touse my suffering as my identity.  My bipolar disorder nor estranged daughter nor my addictions of overeating and overspending are not who I am.  When I live into my suffering I allow Jesus to walk with me and at times to carry  me so as to continue to the journey instead of letting the pain take over and keep me from missing out on the joys of the present moment.

As I trust Jesus to help me to not allow the pain or the challenge or the fear to take over; it also means letting things be what they  are instead of rushing to let them go and shut them out.  It would be much easier for me to block my daughter living in New Zealand or denying my illness or pretending my addictions don't exist.  When I don't allow things to be I rush into relationships and made rash decisions to compensate for my fear of the unknown.  However, when we run, healing cannot come, Jesus is the healer not us, we can allow things to be and  trust Him.  Now this trust thing is easier said than done because the more you allow Jesus to heal you; the more things that you never imagined can become a reality.  Jesus always wants what is best for us and even when we stray leads us back.

As I live into my suffering and allow things to be I must also accept change whether it comes too fast or too slow.  Change seemed too slow when I was waiting to find out about graduate school and now it is going too fast as I find myself in my last year of course work.  It came too fast this summer as some good friends moved away and now as I try to make new friends and try new things it comes too slow.  Change seems slow now as circumstances have changed in my work and I am not sure what the next thing is in terms of vocation and call.

There is no way around it; change is hard whether is good, bad or in between.  Even when it brings freedom, it comes with fear.  After being at a Methodist Church for eight years, my husband and I have recently joined the Episcopal church in our community after over six months of prayerful discernment.  While it is right; it is still scary as I adjust to new people and new ways of doing things.

Suffering, allowing and changing are all apart of life.  I find myself realizing that this is challenge that these three are never going to cease to exist.  I cannot let pride my and my old habits to lead me a stray otherwise I miss out the small simple joys that happen even in the midst of tough circumstances.    I find myself in a place of humility acknowledging that only by the grace of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ can I live day by day.  When I let this relationship go, I become trapped in web of fear and uncertainty that often immobilizes.  When I create space for Jesus by allowing his love to permeate me and then  loving Him by spending time with Him in prayer, study and worship, then and only then can I face whatever the day brings.  I can chase after things to numb the pain but it only leads to more and more pain and a deeper needs that cannot be satisfied.  After forty-four years of living I do not claim to have it all figured out.  In fact, if anything there are more questions and more mysteries.  However, I do know when it comes right down to it that trusting Jesus is the only way I cannot put my trust in a house, or in chocolate cake or in a job or in friend or in a new phone because they eventually will pass away.

May the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you today.  May you find Him wherever you are at and simply have the faith to cry, Help Me, even if you have never prayed before or you have let your faith go by the way side.  Jesus is always ready to meet us where we are at.