A spiritual, creative and intellectual journey : Day 5: Kairos

Part of the beautiful gardens of the Convent and Retreat Center. The photo to the right is the prayer in front of the waterfall enlarged. While it was a mixed day of rain and sunshine, of warmth and coldness, it was such a joy to walk the grounds where so many Sisters had walked; to go through their cemetery and ponder the ministries of those who had passed on. I am continually amazed at how many different ways people around the world regardless of their religious affiliation have benefited from the faithful service of the Sisters who dedicated their lives to Christ.

From the very beginning humans have found ways to keep time; whether it simply be by light or dark, by the sun and moon or by the seasons(winter, spring, summer and autumn). In the Christian Tradition, as a way of being mindful of God and keeping an attitude of prayer, the Liturgy of the Hours or Divine Office developed in many monasteries where it consisted of seven or eight periods of prayer throughout the day. Also the Christian Church developed a calendar based on the Christian Seasons with Advent as the beginning and Christ the King Sunday as the end of the year. So based on the calendar of Christian Seasons, my Day 5 was apart of the 14th week after Pentecost or of ordinary time, in nature's seasons it was still Summer, it was the Celtic Season of Perplexity and Spiritual Survival, in Chronos(clock time) I was operating on Eastern Daylight time and it was the 18th day of September 2014 CE.
Yet today on this day of prayer and fasting; I intended to live by Kairos. I prayed, fasted, read and rested as I was led by the Spirit. I had a list of people to guide in my prayers and I used the book of hours I had created for my 7 pauses throughout the day as a guide for the focus of my prayers. I have designed each pause to focus on a specific kind of prayer(Adoration, Praise, Intercession, Scripture, Confession,Personal Concerns, Thanksgiving and Rest). Yet I must confess as the day moved on, I found myself checking the clock more often and it became more difficult to ignore my stomach growling. I also was tempted to talked to others that I passed at the Spiritual Center. Ironically enough I found it harder to maintain silence on my own than when I have done it in a group. Having the community support of silence helps. It is also difficult to maintain silence when you observe others around you talking and rushing around like I did when I would go up to the Convent to Walk the Labyrinth and Stations of the Cross. This was something I had not expected. Another thing I realized as the day went on was that I had entered into this day as something for me to prove that I could be silent and fast for a day rather than asking for a strength from God. Whenever practicing spiritual disciplines becomes a matter of pride and/or achievement, they become more difficult at least from my experience. The key is to abide in Jesus and let the Holy Spirit lead no matter the spiritual discipline you are practicing.

One of the epiphanies I experienced during my day on Kairos time was during my walking of the Labyrinth. As I walked the Labyrinth several times during that day I experienced a deep healing of the past wounds, the wounds which even 5 years would have robbed me of the joy of being on such a trip and also the realization of why being in the Tri-State Area(PA, NJ and DE) held such special meaning for me. I noticed that I always felt differently when we came to PA to visit Allan's family. At first I thought it was my longing to return along with my unhappiness in Jackson. While this definitely was the case for some time; it was not now as I had come to accept that my calling was to be in Jackson; to serve as a Spiritual Director in place where was to my knowledge no spiritual directors within at least an 80 mile radius. So why is the Tri-State Area special and what is to be one of my take ways from this trip; this area is my spiritual and cultural legacy. It is where the people who prayed for me are, the churches that nurtured my early spiritual life, the diversity that challenged me and my first experiences of God in my daily life occurred. Thus it does not matter where I live; I am called to claim, live and share this legacy - a legacy of being faithful and of loving all people. I recognized for the first time how much this legacy is both a calling and a gift; I have a wealth of resources to draw upon as I begin my ministry of Spiritual Direction. Even being at the Franciscan Spiritual Center was apart of that legacy as I discovered an ongoing connection with the Sisters of St. Francis of Philadelphia. The St. Mary's Franciscan Shelter that opened in Phoenixville(where I grew up) during my teen years was still operating and only just recently had one of the founding sisters past away(the other founding sister is in a retirement home in Langhorne, PA). Another intersection of old and new.

The cornerstone of the Our Lady of Angels Convent

I also had the opportunity to worship with the Sisters during their Thursday 5 p.m. Mass. Below is the candle of illumination in their chapel. Another gift.