A spiritual, creative and intellectual journey : Day 9: Sacred Rhythms of Resistance and Ripening

It is difficult for me on this Monday morning to wake-up; I go through the motions of waking up but then find myself needing to skip the first session after breakfast. I need space to discern; to rest and to calm my soul. The old insecurities rise up in me; my approval seeking and overly responsible self takes over. I am resisting being compassionate with myself and hiding behind the shoulds and should nots. We often here the saying that God provides us with what we need when we need it but often we don't believe it. Yet this morning God incarnate; the Spirit and breath of life showed up in the form of another dancing monk, a sister from the retreat who listens and offers a gentle balm for my soul.

Courtyard in the center of St. Marys by the Sea; featuring a garden with the statue of Mary, the mother of Jesus who reminds us that God is not just father but mother of us all.

I make the transition from resistance to ripening as I enter the courtyard for movement and dancing. The Spirit is always offering us the invitation to begin again and to explore our woundedness while speaking the truth that only Jesus the Christ can bring to us. In our movement, the sun offers me the bread of heaven while the joy of the wind and the waves engulf me. There is a freedom participating in a group knowing that the focus is not on me nor is anyone passing judgment. Light is being shined into those closed off places. It is a letting go and enjoying the present moment; a gift in and of itself.

Flower at Cape May Point

The afternoon is a time of grace; of following the thread and being okay with me. Some of the group along with myself head over to Cape May Point State Park for a nature walk. We see many plants and butterflies for this is the season of the Monarch Butterflies migration. The Monarch Butterflies are on their way to Mexico where there ancestors came. I think about a picture of my grandmother and hers sisters on the boardwalk in Atlantic City NJ during the 1930s when my grandfather was in seminary in Philadelphia. Yet I am reminded too that it is not about place or past but about the movement of the Spirit, the life Allan and I are building together with Saya Ming and Mac; our feline friends in Jackson TN

At the butterfly garden

Flowers at the butterfly garden

After the nature walk; I visit a nearby butterfly garden and then go to the enjoy the ocean. Yes, it is late September but I do put on my swimsuit and let the salt water refresh me. The water is warm and I have fun enjoying the ocean for the first time in many years.