Thursday, September 11, 2014

"Nebraska" - The Spiritual Thread I observed

I recently watched the movie, “Nebraska”, with my husband.  I observed God in this movie in one of the sons, David, who continually listened to and persevered with his father.  David does not allow his father to be ridiculed or made fun of in any way. Like God, David would drop everything for his father. At two different places in the movie, David receives a phone call regarding his father and drops everything to help his dad.  When David realizes his dad is missing, he drives around and when he sees he picks him up.  He continually pays attention to his dad even when his mother and other brother are tired of listening to him.  David asks his dad questions and listens to the answers. 

When David gets into the car with his father to drive to Nebraska; David moves beyond normal capacity and offers unconditional love.  I saw God in David gaining a deeper understanding of his father as they traveled.  David learned more of his dad’s story during their time on the road.   This is what God does for us in ways beyond our imagination.  I noticed an unconventional grace as David accompanied his father in some cases neither condoning nor condemning his actions.  I thought about how God offers each of us a unique grace.  God offers the grace that is appropriate for our story, our weaknesses and our desires.  She comes after us when we runaway always offering us love in all situations.
I saw God in how David allowed his father to drive down the main street in his hometown one more time.  It reminds me of the many ways God has redeemed my losses through one more chance or one more opportunity to speak to someone or to go somewhere.  God gives us many more chances than we deserve and is patient beyond our comprehension. 

While it was not always spoken in love the way God wants it, I saw God in the truths revealed. As I watched, various truths about David’s father behavior some good and some bad coming to light, it caused me to think about how God gives us only what we can handle and that she wants the truth revealed.  It was necessary for David to know the truth about his father’s actions both good and bad so he could better understand and therefore love his father more.  In a similar fashion as our love for God grows deeper, she reveals her truth in a greater, deeper fashion.
Another way I saw God throughout this movie, is in how David was always honest with his dad about what he could do.  David never promised anything that he could not deliver.  God keeps her promises and does not promise anything that she will not do.  David did not constantly remind his dad of his failures.  God forgives and then forgets like David she keeps coming back to pick us up at the side of the road. 

Lastly, I observed God in this movie through David’s changing perspective.  David initially wanted to take this trip so his dad would shut up about wanting to go but as the movie continued David demonstrated gratitude for the time he spent with his father.  God does the same thing for us when we are open; she offers us the chance to have a new perspective about even the worst situations in our lives.

This movie constantly reminded me of the transcending power of God’s love.  Her love knows no bounds and even the craziest situations can be used for the greater good.


A Book review of Nadia Bolz-Weber's Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint

Are you looking for an autumn read that will be challenging and thought provoking but not too technical or complicated? Then perhaps Nadia Bolz-Weber’s book, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint is for you. Pastrix is Nadia’s story from childhood to rebellion, from addiction to new life in Christ and from disciple to pastor. She is a Lutheran Pastor in Colorado who tells it like it is. While I can almost guarantee Bolz-Weber will offend or provoke you; she will also touch your heart. Her story is one in which most people will find something to connect to whether it’s growing up in fundamentalism, dealing with addiction, being uncomfortable with people who aren't like you or learning to have discourse with those you disagree with.

"No one is climbing the spiritual improvement ladder" is a one quote from Pastrix that hit me right between the eyes. It made me think about a conversation that occurred recently when I expressed an opinion in a way that others saw as judgmental and self-righteous. However, when I thought about it, I realized that what I said was really about my own loneliness and frustration not even about the issue at hand. However, at the bottom of my own loneliness and frustration is my trying to do stuff in my own strength. I have become too focused on the "spiritual improvement ladder”; rather than focusing on being made anew in Jesus Christ.
Like I mentioned Nadia’s book is not for faint-hearted; I even wondered as I started Pastrix whether God could use this 44 year old tattooed 6 feet 1 inch tall unconventional Lutheran Pastor’s story to speak to me. I invite you to take plunge and join the conversation that made Pastrix a New York Times bestseller. Even those who disagree with her theology the strongest respect her. Here is what Rod Dreher of the American Conservative has to say about Nadia: “She is a foul-mouthed hot mess, for sure, but there’s something so authentic and broken and great about her.”

So read with an open-mind and enjoying this unique pastor from Denver, Colorado who is causing many to examine Christianity in a new way. Nadia Bolz-Weber is married with two children. Her husband is also a Lutheran pastor. Published in September 2013; Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint is available in e-book, audio book and hardback editions.

Visit http://www.nadiabolzweber.com/ to learn more about Nadia and her ministry. 



Monday, August 25, 2014

"Sharing Jesus' Peace" - John 14:27, John 16:33 and John 20:19-21

“Sharing Jesus’ Peace” – Andrews Chapel Campus of Jackson FUMC – 8/24/2014
Peace – what comes to mind when you hear this word?- Is it a river, a mountain, or the desert; somewhere away from all of the noise and clutter of our modern world; is it time alone in your home without your family making demands on or is it a day without screaming, fighting, or shooting?
Peace as defined by Merriam-Webster has many meanings – including “freedom from oppressive thoughts or emotions, freedom from civil disturbance or harmony in personal relationships.” The opposite of peace is “war, anguish, anxiety or worry, according to the dictionary.
In 1938, Neville Chamberlain entered the UK into a non-aggression pact with Hitler stating that Germany would never go to war again with them. Chamberlain infamously described this accord as, “Peace in Our Time”. He firmly believed that there would be peace and another World War had been avoided. However, as we know in hindsight; it was not long before Hitler violated this agreement and bombs were being dropped on the UK. (For further info visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/september/30/newsid_3115000/3115476.stm)
As illustrated by this story; we as human beings more often than not experience external peace temporarily. We come to an agreement or settlement or we go off by ourselves for a while. However, in our own strength, it is nearly impossible to maintain our agreements and most of us cannot permanently leave our jobs and families. Yet even for those who are called to a contemplative life; the external trouble cannot be escaped. Thomas Merton was in the monastery throughout much of the Civil Rights Movement and the upheaval of the 1960s. However, no matter hard he tried; Merton could not ignore these events and God’s call to speak out through praying and writing about them.
Our scriptures this morning remind us that there is another kind of peace; a lasting peace that is freely given to us by Jesus Christ. A peace that exists not just in the quiet but also in the swirl of our modern world. For Jesus himself acknowledges that we will have trouble in the world. In our verses; from chapters 14 and 16; Jesus speaks peace to his disciples during their final hours together. Yet it is a different kind of peace than they expected; it is not freedom from Roman captivity
or violence. It is an inner peace; a peace that comes from knowing God and acknowledging his ongoing presence in all aspects of our life.
After his Resurrection, Jesus appears to his disciples and add offers them his peace and just as his father has sent him; sends them out to share this peace with the world.
However, before we can share Jesus with the world and offer peace; we must know Jesus ourselves. Once we dedicate our lives to Him, them we must continue to spend time in His presence. In Henri Nouwen’s book; Discernment: Reading the Signs of Life written with Michael J. Christensen and Rebecca J. Laird; he describes 4 ways of spending time with God; in my own words they are:  
1. Reading, reflecting and interpreting scripture
2. Abiding in prayer
3. Worship and sharing in the Lord’s Supper
4. Remembering Jesus and our ‘burning heart’ experience of experiencing God’s presence or as John Wesley described it; “my heart was strangely warmed”(found on pp. 118 Discernment: Reading the Signs of Life, Harper One, ©2013)
When we regularly spend time in these spiritual practices
We can offer hospitality to those who cannot return our invitation and are in need of a friend. Consider inviting those who due to unemployment, grief, violence, mental illness, physical disabilities and addiction are in need of Jesus’ peace and love. Consider offering food, shelter and clothing to those in need by volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, at your local soup kitchen or the Salvation Army. Volunteer at the school in your community. Participate in crime marches; attend local events and get to know your neighbors. Smile at strangers in the grocery store. Be counter-cultural by letting cars out in front of you; giving up your place in
line to someone who appears frustrated or pay for a strangers’ meal in a restaurant. These are all ways we can share Jesus’ Peace in our day-to-day lives.
However, I would contend that we sometimes jump into these works of justice too quickly and try to do them in our own strength. We neglect to pray for others and place them in God’s hands. It becomes difficult to offer peace and love to others without spending time in Intercessory Prayer. Jesus changes hearts and minds; we simply point the way with our words and actions. In his booklet, "Beginning to Pray" Anthony Bloom relays this story of a monk who worked beside many peasants in his monastery workshop. The story illustrates how interceding on the peasants’ behalf made a difference. One day, one of the other monks asked Father Stravinsky (not his real name I could not pronounce his Russian name), “how is it that the people who work in your workshops work so well even though you never supervise them, while we spend our time looking after them and they try continuously to cheat us in their work?” Father Stravinsky replied, “I don’t know; I can only tell you what I do about it. When I come to work in the morning, I never come without having prayed for these people, and I come with my heart filled with my heart and compassion for them. I give them their tasks and then I pray for each of them individually all day long saying, “O Lord, remember Nicholas” and go down the line praying for each one. Consider praying for those whom you see daily in your work and for strangers whom you see without the day. Jesus often uses prayer in unexpected ways and often like Father Stravinsky we do not see it until someone asks us about how are we able to be so patient and compassionate.(Retold in my own words from its retelling on pp. 115 Discernment: Reading the Signs of Life, Harper One, ©2013)
As we remember those in our families, our work and those strangers whom we pass, we need to remember to pray for the overwhelming situations in the world that bombard us in our 24-hour news society. I would invite you this week to consider praying for one situation in your community – learn the names of some of those involved and pray for them. Then choose a situation in a place that you are unfamiliar with, perhaps Ferguson, MO, Luhansk, Ukraine, or Beersheba, one of the communities in the Gaza Strip. Praying for those in other places; unites us with those who pray for peace in their communities around the world.
As I mentioned earlier one of the practices that needs to be a regular part of our life is worship. It is difficult for us to pray for unity in the world if we are not regularly gathering with our community of believers and praying for them
throughout the week. Pray for your congregation; its leaders and its ministries throughout the week.
Together through prayer and works of justice, we can permeate our life, our family, our church, our community, our country and our world with Jesus’ peace.
Will you join me in praying for peace?

The Rev. Elizabeth Tapia, director of Mission Theology for Global Ministries, wrote these  prayers for peace in observance of World Week for Peace in Palestine Israel 2013 World Week for Peace , which calls for justice and peace for all people. United Methodists are encouraged to use these prayers in both personal and corporate prayer times.
Gentle Spirit,
Breathe in us the wind
of truth, wisdom and righteousness.
May your Presence inspire us
 to create labyrinths of peace.
Compassionate One,
Make our hearts burn with love,
honoring all peoples  and creation.
Bless all nations, every family and community
 while we seek to work for justice and unity.
Prince of Peace,
 Lead us to ways of healing and reconciliation
  we pray with those who suffer and struggle. 
 Bless us with your reconciling love that knows no boundaries as we seek to live in community, justice and peace.
So be it.

 The Beatitudes and Prayers for the Christians in Palestine
A humble encouragement to the Christians living in Palestine...
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” (Mathew 5:6)

God of Peace, as our sisters and brothers in Palestine hunger and thirst for righteousness, freedom, land, unity and safety, fill them with your transforming grace, that they keep on trusting You as they keep on being peacemakers.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Mathew 5:9)

God of Love, help us to love and respect all your children on earth, to care for those who struggle and persecuted in many ways.

“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven (v. 10).

God of Justice and Grace, grant us courageous and pure hearts, so we may see you more clearly and dwell in your land with harmony.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” (v. 8)

We pray in the name of the Triune God, Amen.

 —Rev. Dr. Elizabeth S. Tapia (from the Philippines),
 Office of Mission Theology
General Board of Global Ministries of the
United Methodist Church, New York City
etapia@umcmission.org


Other websites to visit: 
http://www.henrinouwen.org/ - Henri Nouwen Society
http://merton.org/ITMS/ - International Thomas Merton Society 


Thursday, August 21, 2014

Sacred Rhythms of Life: Entering a New Season

In my seasons calendar  of Celtic and Christian  Spirituality; it is the season of perplexity and spiritual survival known as Lugasadh and Lammas.  This coming Sunday will be the 11th Sunday after Pentecost or ordinary time on the Liturgical Calendar of the Church.  For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere while it might be hot and humid; the days are getting shorter and Autumn is on its way.  The seasons of nature and of spirituality remind us that there are sacred rhythms to life - times when our work and creativity will flourish and times when we are to listen and rest.  

Over the past months I have been in a season of perplexity and spiritual survival; wondering where God is? and why is my daughter gone?  In many ways I feel robbed and cheated of a season I long anticipated; a time of celebrating her graduating from high school and a time of anticipation as we took her to college and a new life emerged for all of us.  

Instead what has emerged is a season of self-care, of discernment and extra time with Allan. Allan and I have seen two waterfalls on the Natchez Trace Parkway and completed a Crazy Digital of Downtown Memphis.  I am eating more whole foods, taking more Yoga classes and trying new classes such Tabata. My discernment time has included discussions with friends; spiritual reading, prayer along with more silence and solitude. As I wrestle with my spiritual practices; living with the Divine Mystery and beginning again; I find myself in a new and unknown place.  A time of preparation has emerged as an opportunity for me to take a pilgrimage has occurred coinciding with my finishing my spiritual direction training program and preparing for a new ministry.  

Less than the month from now; I will spend a little over two weeks making a journey to friends and family; to familiar and unfamiliar places and to new experiences with God.  Part of the time I will spend in Cape May, NJ at the Sacred Rhythms Writing Retreat: Bringing Yoga, Dance, and Monastic Wisdom to Your Writing Practice. 
I will also be spending two nights in a hermitage on the property of the Franciscan Spirituality Center in Aston, PA.  

This will be a season of discernment as I will finish my spiritual direction certificate program through Perkins School of Theology the end of October and then begin my Master's in Spirituality through Oblate School of Theology as an online program in January. 

 What season are you in?  Where are you being called to journey?  

Here are a few websites on pilgrimage and seasons: 

Ecclesiastes 3 New Century Version (NCV)

There Is a Time for Everything

 There is a time for everything,
    and everything on earth has its special season.
There is a time to be born
    and a time to die.
There is a time to plant
    and a time to pull up plants.
There is a time to kill
    and a time to heal.
There is a time to destroy
    and a time to build.
There is a time to cry
    and a time to laugh.
There is a time to be sad
    and a time to dance.
There is a time to throw away stones
    and a time to gather them.
There is a time to hug
    and a time not to hug.
There is a time to look for something
    and a time to stop looking for it.
There is a time to keep things
    and a time to throw things away.
There is a time to tear apart
    and a time to sew together.
There is a time to be silent
    and a time to speak.
There is a time to love
    and a time to hate.
There is a time for war
    and a time for peace.




Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Jesus’ Final Priestly Prayer: Mission and Unity Andrew’s Chapel Campus, Jackson FUMC – June 1, 2014

In our technological word; we like data; we like to be able to google something and find all there is to know on the subject. We find it odd if a person or business does not have a web presence of some kind whether it be a web page or a social media account and heaven forbid if they do not have an e-mail address.  Just as an aside; I cannot imagine doing a sermon without the Internet and its wealth of resources and I share my sermons on the Internet; just check out my blog.  However, our Gospel passage from John this morning  existed orally long before it was written down on papyrus.  It is more like the person or business who is operating below the technological radar.  This passage of scripture requires faith and a willingness to be a Christ-follower.  For the writer of John 17; the facts about a historical Jesus or the actual events do not matter.  The writer is referring us back to the Prologue John where it is written, “In the beginning was the Word, the Word was with God and the Word was God.”  Christ is the Word or as expressed by Dr. Alexander Shaia; “the Way of Love”, has existed since the beginning and will continue to be forever. The Word or as expressed by Dr. Alexander Shaia;  author of This text points us to eternal life through Christ and being one in Christ; the path of love.  While it is the path of love, it is also a path of suffering.  As the commentary for Preaching God’s Justice says, “These tensions show that the Christian life is neither absent of pain nor comfortable.”
Jesus has eaten his last meal and washed his disciples’ feet in the Upper Room.  This prayer is a part of his final discourse before he is arrested and crucified.  It is not only part of the final discourse but it is his final priestly prayer before being nailed to the cross.   Jesus begins by acknowledging that the time has come and prays for himself.  However, Jesus is not asking for circumstances to be changed but for God; the Father, to be honored and be known to all of Jesus’ followers.  In the second part of the prayer, Jesus is praying for his followers.  He demonstrates his love by asking the Father to protect them and to unite them as one. 
Two major  principles for us in this passage:
(1) Following Jesus’ example of  praying for our mission as Christ-followers both individually and corporately to be fulfilled – not for things to be made simple or less painful but for God to be glorified  and all to  be led to experience  eternal life not in the future but now meaning  that
“And this is the really real life across all time – that The Source of All is the deepest truth of the cosmos, and Jesus the Christ (the full teaching of The Way of Love) teaches us that matter and spirit, death and life, light and dark, time and eternity, earth and heaven and all people are One as The Source of All and The Way are One.” –  © Dr. Alexander Shaia, Heart and Mind: The Four Gospel Journey for Transformation

(2) Unity – we are to be One not a group of individuals but One – but what does unity look like, it  does not mean agreeing on every single doctrinal point or every single interpretation of scripture;  but it does mean loving each other as Christ followers.  We often are very good at building houses together or feeding the hungry or handing out clothing but what about how we treat people outside of those service opportunities?  I remember one Sunday as teenager when our family had to leave church immediately following the last hymn so we sat in the very last row; while some people arrived after us and said it was their pew and then proceeded sit down in front of us and act miffed during the entire service.  Alternatively, perhaps we are nice to be people when we see them at church and then act as if we do not know then outside of the church. This is not unity either.  Compassion is to be practiced both inside and outside of the Christian community.
Practicing compassion is refraining from judgment or advice giving  or trying to figure why this happening to that person before you decide to help but rather being present and letting them know Christ is with them and that suffering is a part of living.  Sometimes it is the direct result of sin or consequences of sin, however; it is not our job to point out other people’s sin but to care for them. Compassion is also not criticizing or making fun of other Christians with whom we disagree.   We hurt Christ’s mission more by our own infighting within the local church and within the universal church. Because we as Christians are composed of so many different groups; most of the time the world sees conflict and not love. 
Believing that we are under the Father’s protection means we have no need to fear or to understand all of life. Christ is asking us to accept whatever comes our way and to work with all those who follow Christ as well as those who do not. This is a tall order, which is why we cannot be Christians by ourselves because in our sufferings, our doubts, our joys and our celebrations we need community.  So where do we begin?  Jesus’ prayer this morning offers for us an example of humility and obedience second to none.  It also emphasizes how trust is key in all relationships.  Jesus trusted the Father; the Father protects us and as we will hear next Sunday; the Father gave us the Holy Spirit as our advocate.  Regardless of our knowledge or lack of knowledge of why God has done or not done certain things in the world; the Bible provides us with a picture of God who since the beginning of time has desired relationship with us.  Now have we always thought that God got it right or did we always respond to God appropriately probably not but again the past is not important.  What is important is us trusting in God.  We show God our trust by being honest with Him.  We cannot experience the redemption and love of Christ unless we tell God that we are scared; angry, fearful, excited or remorseful etc.  Trust is the first step in identifying with the Way of Love.; from there we can seek to glorify God and to become united with other Christ Followers as one.
So does trusting Jesus ensure that I will be happy probably not because even our modern psychologists have stated that  If anything, pure happiness is linked to not helping others in need. “ which is contrary to Jesus’ teaching.
After surviving the Holocaust; the famed Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist, Victor Frankl wrote a book entitled; Man’s Search for Meaning that was published in 1959; and in it he writes ,
“This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence has a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility, which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."
In another words, when we know our purpose then we can endure any kind of suffering.  Jesus knew his purpose and desires us to find our purpose in Him.   Even in our great technological age; a group of psychological scientists have just finished a study that will be published later this year in the Journal of Positive Psychology concluding that “Meaning is not only about transcending the self, but also about transcending the present moment”.   They go on to say that “While happiness is an emotion felt in the here and now, it ultimately fades away, just as all emotions do; positive affect and feelings of pleasure are fleeting. The amount of time people report feeling good or bad correlates with happiness but not at all with meaning.  “
Atlantic Monthly, further quotes this study in their article, “There is more to life than happiness”, by stating that: “Meaning, on the other hand, is enduring. It connects the past to the present to the future. "Thinking beyond the present moment, into the past or future, was a sign of the relatively meaningful but unhappy life," the researchers write. "Happiness is not generally found in contemplating the past or future." That is, people who thought more about the present were happier, but people who spent more time thinking about the future or about past struggles and sufferings felt more meaning in their lives, though they were less happy. “
So how we do carry out Christ’s mission and discover meaning in our lives?
(1) Identifying with Jesus as the Way of Love -    the website Living Space says –“To know the Father and Jesus is to have as full as possible an understanding of Jesus’ message and to have assimilated it into one’s whole life. It is not just a knowledge of recognition but a mutual identification of vision and values.  Further  As the Jerusalem Bible states: “In biblical language, ‘knowledge’ is not merely the conclusion of an intellectual process but the fruit of an ‘experience’, a personal contact.  When it matures, it is love.” (Jerusalem Bible, loc. cit.)”
(2) Commit to praying – follow Jesus’ example – praying for ourselves(to glorify God in all things and that our hearts and minds may be united in one purpose) so that we can pray for and be in unity with other Christ followers. 
(3) Commit to being a part of a faith community not just in name or by occupying a pew but by  being immersed in it by praying, serving and fellowshipping with other Christ followers.   Find others in your own church and beyond to encourage and share in your spiritual growth and service-(Facebook and Twitter are great ways to connect with other people; I have friends now from around the world who pray for me and we share in each other’s lives as Christ-followers some of them I don’t even know what church they go  to or what there theology is; we simply share and support each  other as Christians).
(4) As a Christ follower take responsibility for your own personal growth through regular study of scripture and spiritual reading; be willing to share your journey and help equip others.
(5) Serve and reflect Christ’s love in the world, which is sorely needed, as at least a quarter of Americans do not have a strong sense of what makes their lives meaningful according to Atlantic Monthly.
This is where our focus needs to be.  Jesus is not concerned with what happened in the past or what might happen but what we are doing together in this moment to be united together as One in Him that the world sees his love from us.
 I close now with a prayer from Michelle Francl-Donnay’s Homily written for this Sunday and published in the book,  Naked. And you Clothed me. “May we have ears to hear the poor. May we have eyes to see the root of injustice.  May we have the courage to bear the crosses placed upon us. May we have the will and the strength to take up the crosses that are not ours.  And may we ever bear with joy and hope the weight of glory.” ©2013 Clear Faith Publishing, Homilists for the Homeless series
  In the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit Amen.



To connect further with the resources mentioned visit: 

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Let All Creation Sing: Living in the Moment

Waterfall on Natchez Parkway

We often anticipate as I mentioned in my previous post the weekends; we cannot wait for Saturdays.  Then often we spend Saturdays waiting – waiting for our soccer game to start; waiting for Mom or Dad to finish their chores to take us to the swimming pool; waiting for the party or the concert to happen or waiting on the bus, train or plane to take us where we are going.  These things are worth waiting for and make us glad that we trained, prepared or learned what we needed in order to enjoy our special event or game.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to do some hiking with my husband; it was a two hour drive to where we were going and then we had to hike a little bit to get there.  Yet once we reached the bottom; we come to a beautiful waterfall, which made it all worth it. Allan always does a better than me of moving slowly; I have learned so much from him about stopping along the path so I do not miss a rare flower or a millipede crawling along or a tree growing in a unique direction. 

Psalm 37:7a - Orthodox Jewish Bible
"Rest in Hashem[God], and wait patiently for Him;" 

Being in nature often reminds me of God’s handiwork; the waterfall is one way creation sings.  It makes me stop, look and listen, which we do not often do in the midst of all of our fun Saturday activities.  This was the gift this year of spending Holy Saturday; the day before Easter, with the Benedictine Sisters in Fort Smith, Arkansas.  We were told to think of Holy Saturday as a time of waiting; a day of anticipating the joy of Resurrection.  I had never thought about it in that way because much of my life I have spent the Saturday before Easter doing food preparation, dying Easter eggs, doing last minute shopping or traveling.  I maybe was even at a sporting event or concert.  Therefore, to have this day of silence as my own was a real gift.  The silence of Holy Saturday and the breaking of it around the dinner table and around the fire of Easter Vigil reminded me that sometimes the best blessings occur when we slow down and simply be.  As I held my candle and renewed my baptismal covenant on Saturday evening, I felt the presence of those who have gone before me spending their lives living out their Baptism.  I thought about the faithfulness of the Sisters; who do not know how their service and dedication will be carried into the future. 
Waiting is never easy and often the outcome is not what we want.  The mysteries of suffering are inescapable, however, I believe that when I slow down, pause and let creation sing that God renews my strength.  I challenge you no matter what you believe; to let the Divine permeate your soul with the song of creation. 
 "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.” ― Gautama Buddha


In the Garden at  St. Scholastica Abbey 
"So do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself; each day has enough trouble of its own.  " - Matthew 6:34(Jerusalem Bible) 


Friday, May 2, 2014

Thank goodness it's Friday or Not: Living Hope

In the Garden at St. Scholastica Monastery 
I am not sure when I learned about TGIF – thank goodness or thank God it’s Friday but I am sure I must be around 9 or 10 around that age when school is becoming harder and you look forward to the weekends.  Weekends represented fun, friends and family.  Dinner out, dances, parties, plays, football games and staying up late all occurred on Fridays or sometime during the weekend.  TGIF has become commonplace for me now as an adult; I look forward to a break from the routines of work and school. 
Somehow, though now being thankful for Fridays is more difficult.  Eight weeks ago on a Friday; I said good-bye to my daughter and have not seen her since.  It is hard to believe and hard to wrap my brain around that I have survived.  At first Fridays only represented pain.  Last year at this time; our family was celebrating; we were thankful that Jane was alive and had been able to get the treatment she needed.  Allan took Jane to a doctor’s appointment in Memphis and on then they went on to the Beale Street Music Festival, which they enjoyed. I spent the day catching up on work, enjoying lunch and dinner with two different friends and very grateful to be on the side of healing. 

It is easy to be thankful when things are going well and yet that is not what life is all about is it.  Life is about courage, mystery and relationships.  It is seeing God through the immersion of human experience. Several weeks ago, I spent Good Friday at the St.  Scholastica Monastery in Fort Smith, Arkansas.  Good Friday is when Christians observe and remember the Crucifixion of Christ.  As a kid, I always wondered why it was called Good Friday; shouldn’t it be called bad Friday?  Yet is it good is it not for on that day because of our sins and out of His love for us; Jesus chose to be crucified and died on the cross to bring us living hope. Even we suffer on Fridays because of sickness or job loss or death of loved ones or any kind of tragedy or bad news;  we can hope because Jesus conquered death and stands as our Living Hope even we as humans have none.   However, I have discovered recently that in order to view Good Friday as good; one has to be able to weep and be honest with God.  I cannot truly experience redemption without letting God have my pain. Initially on Good Friday at the monastery; I felt great and I was patting myself on the back for keeping silent and staying away from technology well mostly.  Later after the Celebration of the Passion and dinner; I went out in the garden and wept.  I could see my own betrayal of Jesus: my focus on feeling good, on wanting to hold on to Jane; on wanting to turn the clock back and my desire to want to run away.   As the tears came and as they continue to come; I am reminded of another mother, Mary, who 2,000 years ago watched her son die on cross.  While Mary’s son, Jesus did rise again; the relationship was never the same; Jesus was not her little boy anymore.   I find comfort in knowing that she cried too and that even in knowing that what happened was good for all of humanity; I have to believe it was painful for Mary. So on this Friday; I grieve but I am also thankful because on a Friday many years ago Jesus died and became the Living Hope for all of humanity.  I am thankful for the sunshine, and I am looking forward to this evening with my husband and friends watching minor league baseball. I know in my heart that my redeemer lives and believe even when I do not feel it that my Fridays are being redeemed and healing is occurring.  I weep over what is lost but I look forward with joyful anticipation to what is to come.